hey stuff like this is actually really like. borderline manipulative and it’s one thing to just have thoughts like “oh everyone gets tired of me and leaves and i wish they didn’t” but if you say things like this to friends especially if you’re in really serious relationships where one of you is being supported by the other (even if it’s mutual) that can be really manipulative and make people feel obligated to be your friend and not leave you and make promises they don’t want to and can’t keep and can be really really unhealthy for both of you
like i understand feeling sad when friendships end but emotionally manipulating people into relationships is REALLY not cool even if you don’t realize you’re doing it, and it’s not just this post, there’s this whole mentality of like, co-dependent relationships are the MOST MEANINGFUL relationships and you have to be close FOREVER or it’s not real or whatever and that’s really unhealthy and toxic like please don’t
everyone has the right to end friendships and leave relationships whether it’s a conscious decision or happens naturally over time. relationships end. let it happen, get over it. please don’t depend on people because they are also people like you who need to have the autonomy to get out of bad situations or on a less serious level just do whatever the fuck they want with their lives
your friends might make you feel special and less alone but they don’t EXIST SOLELY FOR THAT PURPOSE and they don’t owe it to you to stick with you forever, especially if you try to make them feel like they do
The big problem is revealed in the last 3 sentences: It goes from “Maybe there is something I am doing wrong and should work on” to “NOPE JUST DESTINED TO SUFFERING MAY AS WELL WALLOW!”
This is a terrible thing to do to yourself. If you find yourself thinking, “Welp, this is fated and I can’t do shit to change the situation,” mentally kick your thoughts in the shins, because it is wrong and only encourages despair.
If all your relationships are ending, then there is a problem on your end. Maybe you are choosing the wrong kind of people to build relationships with, and you’re just ending up with incompatible people. Maybe you are being too cautious and not pestering them for chatty funtimes enough. (That is almost always my problem!) Maybe you are pestering them too much. (If you are not sure whether it’s the former or the latter, think of how often you pester someone per week. If it is less than like once or twice a week, you can probably afford to step up your game.)
Remember: you can’t control others’ behaviour, but you can control your own. You have the capacity to change how you live your life, to change who you are, to change what you do.* If you do this, you’re probably going to see some different results, just because you’re switching up the parameters.
* Granted, this will probably be very difficult at first, but most worthwhile endeavours require a good deal of effort.
there are some days where i forget to eat the entire day, and then there are other days where i have first breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, third breakfast, tea, dinner, soupsies, supper, night lunch, midnight snack and one-in-the-morning snack